Categories
legal practice

Top Five Law Firm Layoff Quotes

Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but what about foresight? The Legal Intelligencer published an article in August of 2007 wondering whether associate layoffs were imminent. Well, we already know that answer now. However, let’s look at some gems from 2007.

  1. “I would be surprised if there was any kind of a wave of layoffs.”
  2. “[Y]ou just don’t let go of [M&A] talent in a downturn.”
  3. “[L]ayoffs going on in the financial side of the world…could, however, result in more, not less, work for at least the immediate future.”
  4. “Rather than … a burst of a bubble, we’re hoping for a soft landing.”
  5. “[S]hort of a ‘meltdown of the global economy,’ firms aren’t going to face layoffs.

Ah, what a different world we lived in 2 years ago. I particularly love the one about “short of a ‘meltdown in the global economy'” which is exactly what occurred. I mean talk about being 100% ironically right. So, what does this all mean? It’s pretty difficult to predict an environment different from the one we are currently in. At some point, the economy will emerge from this slump and we’ll look back at the people prognosticating more gloom-and-doom and wonder why they were so wrong.

Categories
criminal law

Arrest in Chandra Levy Case Imminent (or Not)

I spotted this headline in the Washington Post: Arrest in Chandra Levy Case ‘Imminent’. Of course, the only question in my mind was whether or not the person that was going to be arrested was Gary Condit. After all, I haven’t heard of any other name associated with the case. Well, it’s not him.

Also, talk about misleading headlines. The actual quote was that an arrest warrant is imminent in the next couple of days. Well, as we all know, an arrest warrant is not the same thing as an arrest because the authorization to arrest an individual is not the same as actually arresting the individual. A court may issue an arrest warrant for Osama bin Laden, but good luck tracking him down and actually arresting him. Additionally, I wouldn’t say “in the next couple of days” qualifies as being imminent. I think of imminent as happening some time this afternoon, not the next few days.

Categories
tax

Mileage Tax

Ray LaHood, the Secretary of Transportation, recently suggested that the Obama administration tax motorists based on their mileage instead of their gasoline consumption. The argument goes that as the public starts using more fuel-efficient cars, the government will receive less revenue to fund the construction and maintenance of our roads. This must be an idea straight out of Detroit.

Make/Model Combined
MPG		 Fed Gas Tax
($0.184/G for 100 Gallons)		 Miles Driven
(100 Gallons)
Toyota Prius 46 $18.40 4,600
Toyota Camry 25 $18.40 2,500
Ford F-150 2WD 16 $18.40 1,600
Total $55.20 8,700

So, the table above shows how much the federal government will collect in gasoline sales taxes when the owners of each of the above three cars purchase 100 gallons of gasoline. The combined MPG numbers comes from www.fueleconomy.gov.

Now, I’m no fool. If the government is proposing a new tax formula, I’m pretty sure that it won’t end up being a tax cut. So, at a minimum, to collect the same amount of dollars, but on a mileage basis, this is how the numbers shake out.

Make/Model Miles Driven
(100 Gallons)		 % of Total Miles Driven
(100 Gallons)		 Fed Gas Tax
(Total)		 Fed Gas Tax
(Per Gallon)
Toyota Prius 4,600 52.87% $29.18 0.292
Toyota Camry 2,500 28.74% $15.86 0.159
Ford F-150 2WD 1,600 18.39% $10.15 0.102

How does the mileage tax look now? Imagine pulling up to the pump in a Toyota Prius and noticing that you are paying triple the federal gasoline tax on a per gallon basis as someone driving a Ford F-150 or a Hummer H3?

Categories
Legal Research

Not Every Restaurant Deserves 5 Stars

I really don’t understand this. There are plenty of successful 2-star and 3-star restaurants. I’m not talking about Michelin 3-star, but the 3 (out of 5) stars from the local newspaper. The fact is, I never trust 5-star ratings. If someone isn’t griping about a particular business (on Yelp) or book (on Amazon), you have to wonder whether the reviews are written by insiders: friends and family members. I certainly do. That’s how much trust you should give to online reviews. I think businesses should be glad that they can receive feedback from their customers. You can acknowledge or ignore the feedback, but at least it’s there. If you don’t have a feedback loop, you can’t even understand why your business is stalling because while a lot of polite customers may not “gripe” to your face, they will certainly tell others –online or off — if their experience has been less than stellar.

Categories
consumer law

Food That Looks Like Toys

Last year, Consumer Reports blogged about the choking hazard posed by candies packaged to appear as toys. CR was concerned that young children will be confused by toy-like objects that are edible in one context but not another. I spotted a similar product during a recent supermarket run. Crayon-like popsicles. I’m not sure who the marketing genius is behind this product, but I don’t associate a box of crayons with anything tasty. Of course, parents may use these popsicles as a medical diagnostic tool. If your young Hannibal keeps asking for the flesh-flavored popsicle, you might consider consulting with Dr. Starling.

Categories
litigation

How to Get Excused from Jury Duty

The one time I sat on a jury, I had the privilege of witnessing people offer every conceivable explanation to get excused including telling the judge in English that they had problems understanding English. Depending on the judge, that excuse may or may not get you far. If you want to be more convincing in your appeal, stop bathing for a week before you are scheduled to be called. However, your friends, family members or co-workers might revolt. Turns out, bad mouthing jury duty in Facebook can also get you booted off the jury. I think this only works if you set your privacy settings to allow persons others than friends to view your Status Updates.

Categories
personal injury

No Melamine

melamine

I couldn’t resist snapping this photo. On a box of dried noodles, the manufacturer (I presume) had affixed the sticker “Made in the U.S.A.” I’m quite sure this wasn’t a patriotic appeal to support the domestic pasta industry. Instead, this was a food safety sticker. After all, if you didn’t get the hint that American pasta was safer than Chinese pasta, the manufacturer affixed a second sticker: “No Melamine.”

So, where’s the footnote? What exactly does “No Melamine” mean? I think there’s a huge difference between “We do not knowingly use melamine” and “Lab tests were unable to detect any trace of melamine in our noodles.” Anyways, these stickers did not convince me to throw a box of noodles into the shopping cart. Nor, would a “No Salmonella” sticker make me want to purchase a jar of peanut butter. It’ll just leave me a bit nauseous.

Categories
Legal Research

Automotive Products Liability Cases

I thought I had seen every perspective on the possible impact of a bankruptcy filing by Chrysler, GM or Ford. Apparently, I had not.

Products Liability and Injury Lawyer Blog: Auto Industry Bankruptcy: How Will It Affect Products Liability Litigation? Should one of the Big Three file for bankruptcy, products liability litigants may be forced to petition the bankruptcy court in order to obtain permission to initiate new actions against a bankrupt automaker, or to allow them to continue proceedings already in progress in another court.

Even though we know that economy runs cyclically and that some businesses do fail, I still find it a bit unreal to consider that one of the Big Three might go under. All of a sudden, that deep pocket turns out to not be that deep.

Categories
criminal law

California No Texting Law

On January 1, California prohibited persons from texting while driving. This new law, found in California Vehicle Code Section 23123.5, covers activities beyond text messaging. Specifically, the section states

A person shall not drive a motor vehicle while using an electronic wireless communications device to write, send or read a text-based communication.

The code further states that this prohibition applies to text messages, instant messages and electronic mails. Now, for the strange part. The code specifically excludes “read[ing], select[ing] or enter[ing] a telephone number or name … for the purpose of making or receiving a telephone call.” So, some form of text input is apparently safe, but not others.

The real quirk is the focus on text-based communication. Video conferencing? Gaming? Entering text into an electronic diary? Maintaining a to-do list? Not prohibited by this law.

Categories
personal injury

Faith in Government

Los Angeles Times: Toxic melamine is suspected in seafood from China. Here’s a story to warm your heart before Christmas. Businesses usually complain about high taxes and excessive regulations. So, I was quite surprised when I spotted this quote below:

We’re definitely concerned about melamine, but by the time the fish gets to us, health issues should’ve been taken care of by the government agencies and brokers that we go through.

Oh boy! If that doesn’t make you swear off seafood from China, I don’t know what will. Should’ve, just like government agencies should’ve been keeping a closer eye on the sub-prime mortgage crisis and Bernie Madoff.